April 11th 2010 05:55
As a new Parent, it's amazing what you experience. The first week after our Son was born, my husband was very interactive and helpful with him. The moment he went back to work that completely changed. I did not really notice it until after our families finally left which was not until mid-February. We became a family, just us.
It was stressful and exhausting. I mean I had already told my husband that I had no problem dealing with our Son at night. That was covered which means he would help during the day. During the day, it was different. It's still different. My Husband didn't become interactive with our Son until he became much, much more responsive and vocal (about 3 weeks ago). Which allowed them to finally start developing a relationship. It was something I was beginning to wonder when it would occur. It is something I still need to assist a little in. Even though my Husband knows what our Son's cries better than me, he still cannot seem to tell when he wants his Daddy.
Fathers take a while to come around since they do not get all the bonding time and do not have that closeness Mothers do since they carry the child. It is a different experience for them. Remember Fathers, to a point, are outsiders but Mother can be too.
It wasn't until about 3-4 weeks ago that I finally started feeling that bond to my Son. Previously, I took care of him because I was responsible for him since we made him, in my case, by choice. It was nice to have him happy and smile, but that bond, that love wasn't fully there for me. I believe it is the hormones especially since at the 6 week follow-up I got back on birth control. Things were not balanced out yet. That's OK though. It takes time. Even my Mother and Mother-in-Law went though the same thing. Again, that's OK. It takes getting used to being Parents, it is true what they say: Everything changes.
Also just because you become Parents, does not mean you are not a couple. That too can take time, but if you try, you'll get back there.
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